Bloom Where You're Planted

One of my driving instructors when I was fifteen was a 60-something beach-muscled, hard-drinking, tattered-trucker-hat-wearing guy’s guy who unashamedly peaked in high school and bragged to me about how he dated the baddest blondest freshman when he was a senior. The other was an 80-year-old grandfather, former park ranger and Army helicopter pilot - soft-spoken, wizened, and rich with wisdom. 

I chauffeured them through two-lane backroads up and down the rolling hills of the Piedmont Plateau’s beloved Howard County, Maryland. In a bright yellow driving-school branded car, Troy harassed me for slowing down and teleported me back to his glory days, impressing “chicks” as a scrappy Appalachian receiver at Frostburg State. Grandpa Harney encouraged me to get comfortable behind the wheel, remain calm while crossing one-lane narrow bridges, and spoke with gentle pride of his grandson who took a leap of faith and moved to Wyoming to become a park ranger himself. 

I liked ‘em both. Harney gets a call as we pass the Sunshine Store in Brookeville. Whaddya know? It’s Troy. 

“Hey there Troy, I got Chad here in the car.”

“Oh hell - Chad? He’s easy, he’s good.”

“That’s right. He was good when we got him.”

In everything, you should be good when they get you.

Start a new job? Good when they hire you.

Get a new girlfriend? Good when she finds you.

Some new friends? Good when you meet them.

Think about it - if you’re buying a fixer-upper, you’re not going to buy the shittiest house on the market. You’re going to buy the highest value for the best price. That’s what you should be - the highest value for the lowest price. If you’re good when they get you, it’s not a burden, cost, or hardship to be your friend, boss, mother, employee, girlfriend, wife, whoever - people get a hell of a good deal by having you in their life. Damn. I got a steal here with this guy.

You’ve likely heard people make excuses based on their circumstances:

“Once I have more free time, I’ll be who I really want to be.”

“If only I got a girlfriend, I’d be happy.”

“I’d be a much better person if I had more money.”

People often wait for the perfect circumstancesto pursue something they find meaningful. The truth is, perfect circumstances will never exist.

My boy Coach Dabo Swinney is often quoted saying the following:

“Bloom where you’re planted.”

You’d probably be a taller tree or more beautiful flower if you were in a meadow with more sunlight and more space, but you might be in a shaded alley growing through a crack in the concrete instead. Doesn’t matter.

Unless your circumstances are extreme, like being born in the desert or growing up in extreme poverty, you’re likely self-imposing these limits. You can be a good, solid person with a strong foundation wherever you are.

Why does Alabama consistently dominate college football? Is it because they have magical coaches who can pick any fan from the crowd, throw him under center, and have him lead a miraculous touchdown drive? No. They have good coaching, but they’re better at recruitment. The players are good before they ever play a down of college football - they’re good when they get there.

Is every player from Alabama? Some are Alabama natives, others are from all over the country - from Texas to California to the DMV. Did they all go to the best high schools? Some went to IMG, some went to their local public schools. They all shined at the schools they were at, wherever those schools were.

You have to be a star player in practice for anyone to believe you’ll be a star player on gameday. You have to kill it in rehearsal for anyone to ever invite you on stage. You have to be blooming where you’re planted, and maybe some watchful gardener will find you, scoop you up and move you to where you belong.

What does this mean? Know everything, always be an expert? Be perfect before you even start? Don’t start anything until you got it all figured out? Of course not - that’s impossible.

Obviously, entering any new role or responsibility, you won’t be perfect, but you shouldn’t need fixing. You’ll need some guidance, which is different - and you’ll always have room to grow.

I wasn’t that good at driving when I was fifteen - I didn’t know to yield turning left at greenlights, or who had the right of way at a four-way stop. I got nervous approaching yellow lights and took curves too fast - but I knew the basics, was coachable, respectful, and understood there was much to learn.

Ideally, you should enhance people’s lives simply by participating in their lives. One way of demonstrating this is by saving others the hassle and work of fixing you. It’ll be better for everyone if you’re good when they get you.